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Clarence Thomas Week @ WORD
Mike Cubelo
February 5, 2005

"I can be somebody!" says Jesse Jackson.

"I can be a black somebody - for at least a week,” says talk radio WORD.

Yes, WORD claims on its website that it will be a "Black Talk Station" during the week of February 7th to honor Black History month. This transformation from a white talk station to a black talk station rivals W going cold turkey on his 40th birthday. However, there is that tiny WORD fine print which assures its conservative white listeners that it will only go black for a week With its great conservative appetite and chubby hosts, WORD must think that “Black Talk” is a racial diet plan easily broken after a week.

"Diversity is not a value, it is a fact," is another pronouncement on the WORD website. But, diversity appears to be a little known "fact" on WORD.

There are no black radio hosts on WORD. There is only one woman (white, of course) who, apparently, can't be trusted alone on the radio and is accompanied by a white male co-host. It may not be in her contract but she tends to graciously submit to him on the major issues. It’s the morning show called “Russ and Lisa” with the male name, of course, being first. Both are conservative bible babblers with teletubby bodies that make them kinda cute together. Luckily, these co-hosts do not share the same gender. That could trigger a few FCC inquiries.

After the radio teletubbies, there is another conservative, white male who may not have been paid yet by the White House but who slobbers all over himself in support of W.

Armstrong Williams could easily replace him if WORD was really serious about being a black talk radio station. But, Armstrong is obviously much smarter since he got paid for his propaganda. The host, Mike Gallagher, is somewhere in that talk radio limbo where he is trying so hard to climb to that next level - a FOX cable TV talking head. Unfortunately, the problem is that Gallagher can’t seem to transform the W slobbering into a smooth sewer flow like Sean Hannity. Even Armstrong Williams can do it better than Gallagher but WORD still hasn’t hired him.

Of course, WORD features the rotund drug-addict, Rush Limbaugh, who gave up his spouse and drugs at about the same time he was worried that gays would get married. But, he still claims to sit on higher moral ground like some bobble head Buddha alone with his golden microphone. 

The WORD afternoon drones on with another white, conservative male who is a little different. While ranting about his heavy tax burden, he is skinnier than the other radio hosts. That’s about it.

He’s followed by the Renaissance Man of FOX cable TV who has talents ranging from talk radio to cable TV to phone sex.

As opposed to Gallagher-slobbers, Bill O’Reilly remains so tightly dry that he cringes red with pain when mouthing his opinions. He has that constipated, narrow-eyed focus that is understandably vented during phone sex.

His specialty is to criticize the lack of moral standards in Hollywood and then have cell phone sex with a young woman while his wife waits at home.

But, hey, he’s white, conservative, and male - all job requirements at WORD.

Being black for a week raises tokenism to a new talk radio height.  It needs an appropriate name. How about “Clarence Thomas Week @WORD”?

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I suggest that all the WORD hosts go black face and stop the tokenism. . . .

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