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May 23, 2005 | South Carolina Headlines


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Altman right to question why
Carl from Simpsonville writes:
4/26/2005 11:24:06 PM
Mr. Altman is quite right in his assessment of a portion of the problem of continued abuses to those who have already suffered abuse. He fails to demonstrate any awareness of the real issues that drive an abused person back into an abusive relationship.
For example, divorce is an abusive tool that teaches a child fraudulent solutions to personal failures. Such teaching leads them to repeat the lessons learned at home in his or her own marriage. When things get difficult they just check out!
Without appropriate intervention, divorce tends to clone itself again and again in subsequent generations. I can attest to this. My mother's parents were emotionally divorced from the time I first met them. My mother was married and divorced three times. My brother - twice married and divorced. My aunt - twice, and her two oldest children twice.
Fortunately I had someone who intervened on my behalf, but all the other family members thought it was a perfectly normal thing to get a divorce when it was "necessary!"
Parents, who abuse alcohol, damage their children by abusive teaching or training - forcing them to act as grownups at the age of 8 or 9. I was taught to be a bartender by the time I was 8 years old.
In a home where a man physically assaults his wife - the "He ought to be horsewhipped" is of a previous generation, but since we generally do nothing to those men who abuse their spouses, they think that they can get away with it.
Unfortunately those who have suffered abuse as a child generally ally themselves with others who are abusive or have been abused, BECAUSE THE ABUSE FEELS NORMAL TO THEM!
They have never known what it is to live in a situation where there is no abuse going on AND they generally don't understand how they can do so.
So Mr. Altman, what you see is that many abused women return to their unbelievable situations because they do not have anyone to interfere or intervene for them and to teach them how valuable they really are as a person. They believe that they are getting what they deserve. They have no idea that they should never be treated that way.
When no one comes to aid them, and no one seems to care, they just go back home where life seems "normal" to them.
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