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Where is The Rapture when you need it?
Mike Cubelo
November 7, 2004

Just imagine (like a bob jones voter would) The Rapture arriving in the early morning hours of Election Day 2004. All those “values voters” would have been swept up with their voter registration cards.  Florida and Ohio would have miraculously turned a heavenly blue. Fox News would not be able to air anything since their reporters would be airborne. And, jobs would finally be plentiful in the waning days of the Bush administration – even at the presidential level.

The only doubt, though, is that Lynn and Dick Cheney could be left behind with the rest of us. But, if their passion can produce a lesbian, both may surprise us and become born-again secularists content with their oil money.

Of course, this rapturous wish (a.k.a. prayer) did not happen. Once again, god fails even those who do not believe.  So, the moral morons will march on.

Like the evil twin of a gay pride parade, this righteous parade will go on another four years with faith folks carrying Ten Commandment tablets, reciting classroom and sports stadium prayers while others lug jars of aborted fetus’ and hoist giant statues of the I Spy Supremes – Scalia and Thomas; breasts covered.

Well, can we do more than just hiss from the sidewalks as the moral morons march by?

It may be time for a real rapture – the military draft.

If there is one noteworthy, earthly trait amongst the morally righteous, it is that they avoid real combat when it comes to their morals.

They will go to church regularly, avoid gays, and block abortion clinics to qualify for The Rapture. But, they will also pull political strings, have babies, and move in with invalid parents to avoid the reality rapture of the military draft.

W and Cheney are prime moral examples of this along with their children and relatives who have yet to arrive in Iraq or Afghanistan in uniform. Values voters and their leaders tend to avoid playing the combat game when the odds of dying and getting to heaven a little earlier than expected are good.

They prefer the convenience of being sucked up to heaven without the inconvenience of dying first.

Yet, values need to be earned. Going to church, mumbling a prayer, and memorizing cute biblical quotes are all an easy morality.

Supporting war from afar without family involvement is easy patriotism.

We made it just too easy for values voters to vote their morals.

It is time for these faith folks to experience the real rapture of being swept up in a military draft.

More than the fear of god, the fear of sons and daughters being forced to tour Iraq can transform moral morons into smart secularists - who vote.

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The people of the day of Noah were laughing and mocking him all during the time Noah was building the ark. Afterall, it did not 'rain' at that time, so everybody thought that Noah was crazy. Until the rain came, and the waters rose, and then everyone was singing a different tune.  . . .

Read the rest.

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